The year is 2032 and the dearth of birds in the Queensbury township and beyond has increased dramatically. There have been some serious knock on effects as these reports from citizens illustrate.
Garden birds are so scarce now that 43 pet shops throughout West Yorkshire have gone out of business as sales of bird food and feeders have hit rock bottom.
Bizarrely those birds that still hang on in have no fear of predators so much so that Jonas Snert of The Mansion in Small Page Fold plays videos of Sparrowhawks daily in order to reinstate fitness levels of Great Tits, Chaffinches, Blackbirds etc. He further explains: The birds now lounge about on branches or on the grass all day and have become grossly overweight. I found that playing raptor videos gets them off their arses and flying again.
Mr & Mrs Pugh-Tridd of Tapir Close report their cat has lost it's predatory instinct having not seen birds for many years to such a degree they saw it climb a tree with a fledgling Goldfinch in it's jaws and put it back in the nest it had dropped out of.
This sad story of avian depletion is widespread throughout Yorkshire. Albert Snildge of Cockroach Way laments his trips to Scarborough have lost their magic now that the gull numbers have been reduced. He says I used to eat fish n chips on the front and the buggers used to land on my head and pinch em. What fun I had when I whipped out my baseball bat and clocked a few of em. Now all I can do with my time is try and get the Mrs to wear Gull outfits...
